How to Speak Up

Apr 15, 2025

When you’ve decided that speaking up is important to do, a good starting place is always to understand what you really want. 

Consider these questions: 

  • What is the ideal outcome you would like to experience? 
  • What results are you trying to accomplish? 
  • What is the problem you are trying to solve? 
  • Given that you can’t control someone else’s response, what will feel like success to you?
  • What are the possible outcomes if you DO say what you mean? 
  • What is the likely outcome if you DON'T say what you mean?

So you're ready to say what you mean!

Something to Try

Quick! Before you change your mind...just try it!

And there's some steps I'd like to offer when it comes to trying it:

  • First, “take a moment to tune into yourself to see what your thoughts and feelings really are.

  • Regulate your nervous system because otherwise you may not think straight. One of the best ways to do this is to breathe.

  • Proceed in your own timing: Buy yourself time if you need to so that you don’t just wing it.

  • Think ahead: know what you are going to say before you say it. In upcoming emails I'll offer three tricks for doing just that and here's the first one:

Trick #1: Write your message uncensored and only then edit it down to the most important parts. This helps us get to our real meaning and manage our emotions.

And in general...

Tell yourself it’s understandable that this situation feels uncomfortable and remind yourself that you have choices.

If you’re not in the habit of saying what you mean, remind yourself that you are learning something new.

There was a time when you didn’t know how to feed yourself and you got food everywhere. It was imperfect.

Anything you are new at is going to be imperfect at first.

The more you do it the more it will become second nature and you’ll become faster.

If you've decided it's important to speak up, don't talk yourself out of it.

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