When There's Not Even Enough Time to Breathe

Every job includes some activities, people or environments that are exhausting, that you don't like, or aren't good at. 

That's normal.

And then there's situations where these kinds of things take up way too much of your time and energy and feel like they are crowding out who you are and what is important to you. 

 

Something has got to give ... I can't keep going like this.

 

New clients will often come to me with a statement like this. 

And...they often want to jump right into problem-solving.

 

They ask for tools and tips, advice, stories about what other people do.

Meanwhile, they are not sleeping well...

are breathing shallowly...

feel like their head is spinning.

 

In other words, 

their bodies are acting like they are constantly under threat. 

Because they are.

 

When you're in this place, no number of tools and tricks will make a bit of difference. 

Sorry to break it to you, friends, but when your body feels it is under threat, you cannot internalize any advice or make use of any story about what has helped other people.

 

STEP ONE is to make some space for your nervous system. 

 

Research shows that nervous system regulation is a critical step to creating change.

But I wholeheartedly believe in it because of the difference I see it making for my clients.

 

What’s funny though is that often when I suggest this as a first step to a client, their resistance goes through the roof.

 

"I don’t have time to breathe! I need to figure this out now."

 

The fact is, you’re not going to figure it out until you are able to access your problem-solving brain and you can't do that when you're feeling fried.

The other fact is that YOU CAN START SMALL!

 

Here's a few small ideas that I promise make a BIG difference: 

• You can start by walking as fast as you can in one direction for five minutes and then going back.
• You can start by taking three deep breaths before you log onto or walk into each meeting.
• You can block your calendar at the beginning or the end of the week to look two weeks ahead and cancel, postpone, or delegate anything that is not a good use of your time.

 

You don’t have to have it all figured out to start changing your relationship with work.

But you do have to start. 

So give one of these ideas a try!