The Most Overlooked Skillset for Job Hunters (and people unhappy with work)

"The Most Overlooked Skill Set for Mid-Career Job Hunting" by Andy Johnson

When facing a mid-career job search, we all know the importance of having experience, connections, and knowledge of your industry. But how often do we talk about the importance of being able to influence your emotional state?

When you feel inspired, your body chemistry gives you more energy, your mind is more open to creativity and problem-solving, you recognize new opportunities more quickly, and your energy is focused on moving you toward your goal. When you feel despair, challenges are overwhelming, your body chemistry makes you tired or easily flustered, anxiety and worry steal your energy, and your mind shifts from higher-level thinking into fight or flight. You really are a different person whether you're feeling inspiration or despair.

Many of us have tried shifting our emotional state by "thinking positive." I'll be honest, that has only worked for me when overcoming small things (ie getting caught in traffic gives me more time to finish this podcast), and can feel a bit like denial. When I've tried to think positively, my despair usually shows up with more justifications, more muscle, and more determination, and simply runs over my positive thinking like a bulldozer.

Here's an alternative you can try the next time you feel stuck in a despairing place emotionally. It's a three-step process:

1. Pause for a moment to name and validate the true emotion. Taking a deep breath, naming your underlying feeling, and saying, "It makes sense I would feel this way" are all responses that can help begin reducing your anxiety and agitation.
2. Name how you want to feel. This is your "target emotion," and stating it clearly to yourself (or someone you trust) can be a helpful step toward getting there. Example: "Right now, I'm feeling a lot of fear in my body, but in order to write my cover letter well, I want to feel hopeful."
3. Practice moving your emotional needle. Test out a technique and find what works best for you. This step is a little different for everyone, so be open to what really works. For me, it often works best to imagine a conversation with a relative who always loved and supported me. For some, exercise shifts their state. For others, imagining their goals. For others, calling a friend. Whatever moves the needle toward your target emotion is something that you can celebrate and improve upon over time. Keep practicing!