What To Do When Your Brain Screams "I Don't Know!"

What do you think your options are?” I asked my client.

“I just don’t know” was all I got back as a slightly distressed look crossed over his face.

Then we waited.

“Actually”, he said tentatively, “I had a similar situation happen before."

“What were your options then?” I asked.

“Well, I tried several things," he said.

From there, he generated several ideas based on what he had tried in the past.

“If your boss were to offer you an option,” I said, “what might it be?”

He almost chuckled, “Oh I know exactly what it would be.”

 

Countless experiences I've had with clients over the years remind me how much we limit ourselves when we stop at our first answer to a hard question.

 

In some cases, like with this client, we think there’s no answer at all. 

We can immediately go into that distressed place where he started to go. 

In that distressed place it’s almost impossible for us to generate options for ourselves.

 

In other cases, we have a first thought that seems good at the time but there are better options if we give ourselves some space to imagine.

 

This can be especially true when we know something about work isn't working for us but don't know where to start to change it. 

 

So how do you change work into something that works for you?

 

When you're facing a tough question like this, here's some things to try: 

• After your first answer, ask yourself, “what else?”
• Or finish this sentence: “This is impossible unless…”
• Or ask yourself, “What is something that I have tried in the past, whether it worked or not? What other ideas do those memories conjure?”
• Or try asking yourself, “If ______________[another person] were to offer me a suggestion, what might they offer?”