Aug 21, 2024
Welcome! I'll start today with a confession:
As the circumstances in my life have changed, I have often gleefully looked forward to what will change with it.
I think, "When (my job / a relationship / the weather) changes, yay for me! I won’t have to _________________ anymore. I can finally _________________!"
Then comes this inevitable moment when I realize that something I had hoped would be different is the same as it ever was and I'm forced to ponder whether what I was trying to escape is actually something I'm creating.
Wait, is that thing I had blamed on my circumstances actually something I'm creating????
Turns out I'm not alone. Over the course of helping hundreds of people thrive at work, I know how much easier it is to see the change we want from others than the change we need in ourselves.
If you've spent any time noticing what you're experiencing at work, you've likely got a list of some things that might be the result of other people and some that might be because of you.
But how do you know which is which?
Try four questions to reveal what change you can make!
A very astute client of mine was feeling hopeless, stuck, and powerless before starting coaching. Using the questions below she was able to see options that had never occurred to her before.
As a result, she says, "I think I tended to see just the external circumstances but not the internal circumstances. Now I know that even if I can't change the outcome, I can change how I feel about that circumstance just by having chosen to do something within my control."
"If you're feeling powerless, there's probably something you can do. It doesn't mean the situation is solely yours to fix but it's worth probing to see what's behind that powerlessness."
--that very astute client
Try asking yourself these questions when you're feeling powerless:
Assuming there's nothing you can do can be demoralizing. Feeling like you don't have options can feel hopeless. Revealing that neither is true can change everything!
It's also important to know you are not alone.
So take time to connect! If there is someone who you know is struggling, help them think through these four questions.
If you're the one feeling hopeless, ask someone to help you think through these four questions.