Phases to keep in your back pocket

Apr 29, 2025

Once you've decided to speak up, don't talk yourself out of it!

I know, I know. Easier said than done. 

Just because you've decided to speak up and gotten yourself in a good spot to do it doesn't mean that you'll magically know what to say. 

 

Sometimes we open our mouths and nothing comes out. 

 

In my own life and in helping clients speak up when they need to, I've found that having some phrases in your back pocket can really help. 

 

That way, when you've decided it's time to speak up, you've got some go-to phrases to choose from.

Something to Try

Need some ideas? Grab one of mine...

  • “It looks to me like _______ is keeping you from having the impact you want.”
  • “I have noticed you doing _______. Can you help me understand what that is about?”
  • “I know you want me to be excited about that offer but what I really want is _______.”
  • “I can see you would have done something else in my shoes. That’s another approach.“
  • “I care about _______. That’s why I’m bringing this up.”
  • “I’d rather not talk about it. How about we talk about _______ instead” (this lasts part is really important so that you’re not ending the conversation but changing it).
  • “I’m glad you brought that up and would like to talk about it at _______ time.”
  • “I’m flattered by your offer but I’m not up for that right now.”
  • “That’s not really my thing.”
  • “_______ doesn’t resonate with me.”
  • “I've done that a million times before. Let's give someone else a chance.”
  • “I make it a practice not to talk about other people’s business.”
  • “I don’t give that information out.“
  • “What you’re doing feels _______ to me and I don’t like it.”
  • “Why don’t you give it a shot and then come back to me with specific questions.”
  • “If the situation were _______, I could potentially support it but not under these circumstances.”
  • “Thank you for being honest with me. I’d like to do the same for you.”
  • “I feel _______ when _______ happens.”
  • “We have talked about _______ a number of times. It is becoming a pattern that I’d like to talk about.“
  • “We have talked about the pattern of _______ a number of times. I believe it is starting to impact our relationship.”
  • “No, I’m just not comfortable with that.”
  • “I appreciated ____.” (assertive statements can also reinforce things we like)
  • “I feel offended by your remark.”
  • “Thank you for your advice. I will consider this carefully and let you know what I decide.”
  • “I understand where you’re coming from, but ______.”
  • “That doesn’t work for me but _______ would.“
  • “I need to focus on something else right now.”
  • “I need you to hear me out.”
  • “I make it a policy to ______ (or not to) ______.)”
  • “No.” (yep, that’s a complete sentence).
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